NEVER AGAIN

I reflect back to these experiences many times; helps me come to my senses every time I feel desperate for something cheap and want to attempt it again.....

There I was, new in the city. I had the brilliant idea to hang fabric from the ceiling around my new "room". {My so called "bedroom" is located in the front room. We tried to do more of a studio apartment feel.... It's not as cool as I planned. I expected some sort of "Jasmine from Alladin" fortress and instead it looks more like a "Shirley from a trailor park" in Kansas} This idea was based around how to find lots of fabric in a very cheap manner--Thus Walmart came to mind.

The red flag should have flashed when my roommate told me the directions to the nearest Walmart. How was I supposed to know that the 13th south location was scarier than the slums of Tiajuana? I soon learned what a naive little Cache Vallian I am.....

I parked. As I got out of the car, I immediately felt the need to check over my shoulder several times, just in the parking lot. ---- Bad sign

Experience #1: Cat Fight Close Call- Ever seen "The Hills Have Eyes"? Well these mutated inbreds are mean and I ran into one. I couldn't tell if she was glaring at me, or someone else, due to the opposite direction of her eyes. I tried not to give eye contact as I walked by, but I was shoulder pushed. As I turned around, the mutant gruffed, "Do you want a piece of me?" ----Do I want a piece of you??!! Hmmm, let me think about that for a minute....

Experience #2: Awkward Question from Dad with Kids- This happened to me while I was with my friend Shane. A father with a cart full of kids appeared to be lurking behind me, and I was confused as to why. Finally as I passed him a second time; he nervously said, "Can I ask you a weird question?" I blankly stared back. "My wife wants an augmentation and wanted me to ask you what your bra size was. She thinks your size is great and wanted me to ask." He asked this around other shoppers; I was so embarassed and felt my face go red. First of all, what wife (in their right mind) would have their husband ask a random woman that question, while pushing kids in their cart?!! Sure the kids in the cart are less threatening, but really??? After I walked away and was processing what had just happened in my brain, I ran into the blushing wife, hiding behind an aisle nearby. Wow

Experience #3: "Looking for Excitement" Couple- This pair has had a rough life. I tried not to give either of these women eye contact, for fear of (possibly) my life. They looked "gangster-like" with baggy clothes, bandanas, and chains; but they had one thing out of the ordinary... Thugged-out children. They were behind me in line and I started eavesdropping on their conversation. I soon came to understanding that these two were lovers. We were standing there for quite some time and they started talking to me. I was nice to them, laughing at their children. Suprisingly they were overly nice--soon enough I realized that they were flirting, I guess? I heard one of them whisper, "She'd be a fun Barbie to bring in for a night". I'm assuming she said this loud enough that I would hear, to see my reaction. I feel I am pretty accepting of other's lifestyles; however, personally I am not into "hooking up" with 2 baby's mamas.

Experience #4: What Goes On in the Parking Lot- All of these experiences were bizarre, but this one sounds made up. I left the building and walked across the crime-infested parking lot. I unloaded my purchases and sat in my car. Just before I shut they door, I heard, "Eehh! Eehh! Ober here! You!" I looked over and there was a (young adult) hispanic gentlemen hovering over the Mini (my car). He held up a plastic bag full of something soaking in a dark liquid. Confused, I looked up at him and he said,"Eh! Do ya wanna buy a tamale?" I was even more confused and awkwardly mumbled "no thanks". I don't think a homeless person would have taken that food for free. Does this really happen?