Indecent Exposure

Okay people. I have no idea why I didn't blog for a year. I really don't have a reason. I just didn't. Maybe it was the fact that we didn't have internet in our cute little cottage we lived in? Who knows...

I am really not sure as to why weird things happen to me at the gym. In the past I have blogged about a few. (Father and Son Bonding / Aerobics Spandex Lady) For some reason I remembered an experience that happened to me before my blogging days, but I can't let this one slip through the cracks as a "lost memory".

I had just moved back home from college and began to workout at a small gym that my mom was a member of. Immediately I noticed a very peculiar woman in this small and intimate gym. The first time I saw her I honestly didn't know if she was a man or woman from behind. She was lifting weights and the only thing that gave her possible femininity away was the booty shorts she sported while doing dead lifts. Even then I almost wondered if maybe she was a man trying to make a fashion statement with hot pink shorts...

Her extremely large muscles, protruding veins, greasy hair and face, and Neanderthal features were definitely distracting. Not to mention the grunts, animal-like screams, and attitude she used to intimidate (on a daily basis) made us spectators try not to give her eye contact. Seriously, this small gym is one where out-of-shape moms and old ladies went to... Not body builders.

Not only did she sweat like a pig but she loved to fling this dripping sweat at others. She definitely was proud of her physical results from her hardwork and I honestly believe she loved sweating all over the place- as if to prove she is hard core or something.

Anyhow, one day I participated in a kickboxing class with this lovely lady. She happened to be placed right next to me in the class. We had to share a bag (to kick and punch) and it was no surprise that she was wearing her pink shorts (that she wore every day at the gym). The class begun and she began to annihilate the bag. She definitely was causing a scene and I could tell that some of the elderly ladies in the class were terrified. We are all there to have a good time and get a good workout in, and this lady was ready to kill someone.

Then I saw "it"

This he-she was not wearing underwear. Every time she did a round-house kick to the bag, she flashed her privates to everyone. I was in shock when I realized she would really wear loose fitting booty shorts with nothing underneath as she high-kicked the hour away. After being in multiple classes with her, I realized that every class she wore the same shorts with no undies. She was very consistent with her choice of clothing.

I guess I got used to this exposure of her body and learned to ignore her. When I look back I can't believe this lady really exists. I am most definitely scarred for life-